Thursday, June 18, 2015

Things I Hate Today. Or, I Spent Way Too Much Time On Facebook Because It's Raining And It Has Been For Like A Week And It's Not Going To Stop Until Saturday

1. Maxi Skirts
2. Maxi Dresses
They're the crocs of female fashion.  They're the sweat pants of female fashion.  Yeah, just stop.

3. Bragging about how superior your "real, non-synthetic, post-workout power salad" is while it sits atop a big fucking plastic to go container.  Yes, PLASTIC. On a plastic-topped table. Next to a fake plastic plant on said plastic-topped table.  Real cool.

4. Selfies. I get that sometimes occasions arise that call for selfies -- maybe there's no one else around to take your new Facebook profile pic or a bio pic that you need for an online application or page profile.  But that's about it. So stop it with the selfies.  Every day, posting a new selfie on Facebook or Instagram.  You're sad. You're desperate. You're insecure.  It's so obvious. Even science says so.  I think.  But stop. If you want us to know that you made it to the top of Mt. Everest, have the Sherpa take the pic, then post.  Or better yet, ask the Sherpa if he'd take a group photo.  That's even better.

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